A Riddle for You…

You can hardly ever find it anymore — especially in politics or business. Lots of schools don’t teach it anymore. We want more of it in our children and in all the adults who interact with them. We want it from our bosses and the people who fix our cars. And most of us believe we have plenty of it.

What I’m talking about is character — or, more precisely, good character. So, what is character? Technically, character is a morally neutral term describing the nature of a person in terms of major qualities. So everyone, from iconic scoundrels like Hitler and saints like Mother Teresa, have a character.

In most situations, however, when we are talking about a person’s character we are referring to the sum total of his or her moral qualities: is she a good person or bad person, is he worthy of trust and admiration or not.

So when we say someone has good character we are expressing the opinion that his or her nature is defined by worthy traits like integrity, courage, and compassion. People of good character are guided by ethical principles even when it’s physically dangerous or detrimental to their careers, social standing, or economic well-being. They do the right thing even when it costs more than they want to pay.

No one is born with good character; it’s not a hereditary trait. And it isn’t determined by a single noble act. Character is established by conscientious adherence to moral values, not by lofty rhetoric or good intentions. Efforts by parents, teachers, and others to instill these values are important, but ultimately, character is both formed and revealed by how one deals with everyday situations as well as extraordinary pressures and temptations. Like a well-made tower, character is built stone by stone, decision by decision.

The way we treat people we think can’t help or hurt us — like housekeepers, waiters, and secretaries — tells more about our character than how we treat people we think are important. How we behave when we think no one is looking or when we don’t think we will get caught more accurately portrays our character than what we say or do in service of our reputations.

Of course, our assessment of a person’s character is an opinion and it isn’t always right. Abraham Lincoln recognized an important difference between character and reputation. “Character,” he said “is like a tree and reputation like its shadow. The shadow is what we think of it; the tree is the real thing.” Because the shape of a shadow is determined by the angle of light and the perspective of the observer, it’s not a perfect image of the tree. In the same way, reputation is not always an accurate reflection of character. Some people derive more benefit from their reputation than they deserve; others are better than their reputations.

Still, reputation matters. It determines how others think of us and treat us and whether we are held in high or low esteem. That’s why many people and organizations are so preoccupied with their image that they actually undermine their character by concealing or creating facts to make them look better. It’s ironic that reputations are often the result of dishonesty or the lack of accountability.

Excerpts from article written by Michael Josephson (November 28, 2011)

Do you feel you are known as a person of good character? It is a very difficult task to ask yourself to see your words and actions as others acutally perceive them. Do you know how you are perceived by others versus what you think of yourself? Can you figure out your personal riddle? One thing is for sure, everyone can work harder at building their good character qualities.

Mary Lien, Character Education & Prevention Coordinator

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